For the Love of Holiday Rom-Coms

I need the low stakes

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been craving holiday movies—the really corny ones on Netflix and Hallmark. I think I just need something that has very low stakes. Also, they’re fun to watch with my kids. For my kindergartner, the plotting is just the right amount of stressful. She is genuinely worried when someone accidentally breaks a vacuum (Christmas Inheritance) or if someone’s wedding dress is ruined by their best friend (Snow Bride). My sixth-grader is old enough to recognize how ridiculous and predictable the plots are, and enjoys guessing what is going to happen next. And we all like the over-the-top Christmas decorations in everyone’s houses, as well as the holiday-themed apparel. 

In keeping with the mission of this newsletter, all of these movies are either written or directed by women.

The Knight Before Christmas (2019)
Directed by Monika Mitchell
Written by Cara J. Russell
1 hour 32 minutes; Streaming on Netflix

What if a medieval knight traveled through time, randomly landed in your Ohio town, and fell in love with you? And it was Christmas? Are you in? How could you not be? Like a bath bomb, this movie is delightful but makes very little sense. Vanessa Hudgens stars. IMDB * REVIEW * TRAILER

Snow Bride (2013)
Directed by Bert Kish
Written by Tracy Andreen
1 hour 24 minutes; VOD $1.99

A gossip columnist must get the dirt on an influential political family who gather together every Christmas in their mountain cabin. After a series of unfortunate events, our intrepid reporter ends up arriving on the mountain in her best friend’s wedding dress. She’s welcomed as a lost runaway bride and befriended by the family, which puts her in an ethical quandary when she finds out these people are actually pretty nice and maybe she wants to marry one of them? This movie has a bit of a screwball comedy vibe and doesn’t take itself too seriously. It’s also a little nostalgic because it takes place in a time before social media had totally taken over the news. IMDB * TRAILER

Christmas Inheritance (2017)
Directed by Ernie Barbarash
Written by Dinah Eng
1 hour 44 minutes; Streaming on Netflix

Jake Lacy and Andie MacDowell are the reason to see this sentimental holiday movie about a hard-partying NYC heiress who needs to spend some time in a small town to find out what Christmas is really all about. Lacy is kind of phoning it in as the Ultimate Nice Guy but it’s still impressive to watch him as he pulls off some deeply corny dialogue. Like so many holiday movie heroines, our heiress wears high heels in every scene and has a fiance who is obviously wrong for her. IMDB * REVIEW * TRAILER

A Castle for Christmas (2021)
Directed by Mary Lambert
Written by Ally Carter and Kim Beyer-Johnson
1 hour 38 minutes; Streaming on Netflix 

I mean, it’s Brooke Shields and she wants to buy a castle. It’s Cary Elwes with a Scottish accent and he doesn’t want to sell his castle. It’s Christmas, obviously. There’s a knitting circle, a holiday ball, and an expedition on horseback to chop down a holiday tree. What else could you want?  IMDB * REVIEW * TRAILER

The Christmas Cottage (2017)
Directed by Paul A. Kaufman
Written by Samantha Chase and Claudia Grazioso
1 hour 30 minutes; VOD $2.99

Here’s the situation: you’re a hard working career gal who needs to wrap up a big project, but it’s also your best friend’s wedding and you are the maid of honor. You think, I’ll just work when I have down time at the wedding, but when you get there, your ex-boyfriend is the best man, what?? Oh, and it’s Christmas. And there’s a cottage where it’s said that couples who spend the night there end up falling love. What are the chances that you and your ex are going to get stuck spending the night there? IMDB *  TRAILER